Wise Replies

Have you ever had a situation where things were not working out for you, and finally it boiled over and you snapped? Yeah I have had that too many times to count. I remember one time in particular, I was in sales and I was working with a vendor trying to get a bid for a customer. The sales rep that I was working with had done some things to frustrate the relationship with all our salesmen and we were on rocky ground. This particular quote was late and the rep said somethings that I did not take kindly to, and so I went off like a shotgun at a flock of geese. I peppered this person with all the anger and frustration that had built up over many months of tension and failure. This was not my finest moment, especially since I thought I had more weight to throw around than I really did. The outcome was not favorable for me, and after that the working relationship was never the same.

Conflict and disagreements will always happen, but we have something to learn from the wisdom found in Proverbs 17:27:

The one who has knowledge uses words with restraint, and whoever has understanding is even-tempered.

So if we look at how I responded in that moment through the lens of this verse, I did not have knowledge nor understanding. Simply put, I was a fool. So let's look at a couple things from this verse that we can use to approach our next conflict.

Watch our words- It seems that in the times we live in people are quick to say whatever comes to mind without realizing the consequences. We have social media platforms today that allow us to reach a worldwide audience, and the effect of our words can go further than we realize. One of my favorite sports analysts, Herm Edwards, would always say "Don't push send" or don't be quick to send something out on social media without thinking about what you are really saying. This goes far beyond just the world of social media, how many times have we made a statement and as the words are going out of our mouth we wish we could just grab them and shove them back in? I have watched as I carelessly attacked someone with my words and the words crush their soul.

So what is the solution? Are we just not supposed to say anything? I think the first step is to do what James says and be quick to listen and slow to speak. He also says that if anyone who lacks wisdom ask of God and he will give it. I like to ask God for wisdom in what I say according to Psalms 141. It says that He will set a guard over our mouth, and watch the door of our lips. If we seek to obey this instruction then he will empower us to speak with discernment.

Don't react- Often times our words get driven by our emotions, that's why someone with understanding will have an even-temper. This is exactly what happened in the story above. The person said something that struck an emotion and I reacted with all the pent up emotion inside. We all have certain issues that will set us off, you could look at it like a big red button that when pushed creates an emotional reaction. I have struggled with this for years, and you know what I have found as the solution? Doing what James says, by looking into the perfect law that brings freedom. When we turn to the Word of God in the moments that we are reacting in anger, it will cleanse us and purify us. The more that I turned to the Word, the more my emotions were tempered and I was able to respond in situations with an even-temper.